Crisis of Faith (Part 1):

Until the attempt to kill Caine, I had believed myself untouchable. I had been blessed by a Prince of Amber; dedicated myself to nothing less than staving off the domination of both Amber and Chaos. I had succeeded in Chiare with little trouble, and even the gods of Thule were forced to flee before the power of the Flaw. Our arrival in Kashfa was my first setback, but even that was nothing more than an obstacle to be overcome. Dalt was swayed to my cause, and I had even gained the legendary gunpowder used by Corwin to save Amber.

Two things nearly caused my downfall. I overestimated my new-found allies, and was too cautious about using my powers. Without using the Broken Pattern, I was blind to the wards set at Caine's doorstep. Dalt saw my hesitation, and took the initiative. The problem is, Caine was ready for us. I was fortunate to escape with my life. With me, I brought two means of salvaging some measure of success from my failure - guns, and Dalt's body.

My wounds were extensive, and Allyna's reflex objections once we were all together didn't help matters. I helped remove the collars from Andra and Nayda, and Allyna transported us to a ship. While I dealt with trivial matters of leadership, my mind wandered back to the recent failure in Kashfa. Not only had another Broken Pattern been placed at risk of destruction, it was my home...as much a home as is left for me in Shadow. It was the place where I had met Ashlin, and where he was taken down by one of the Guild. If it was destroyed, it might be beyond bearing, despite the hardening of my heart over the last several decades.